求托福TPO1的综合写作作文批改In the lecture,the professorcasts doubt on the reading passage`s idea that offering employees the four-dayworking option may increase the company`s economy and employees` life quality.The professor asserts that four-day working option may
2019-06-19
求托福TPO1的综合写作作文批改
In the lecture,the professor
casts doubt on the reading passage`s idea that offering employees the four-day
working option may increase the company`s economy and employees` life quality.
The professor asserts that four-day working option may have nothing to do with
the company or employee.
To begin with,the professor
argues that it would decrease the company`s profits if they shorten the
workweek.According to the reading passage,employees would make fewer significant
errors in their work because of the increasing resting time,and the company
could hire more people with the same money they payed for five-day workweek.In
opposition to this arguement,the professor says that hire more people means
that the company would pay more for freshmen`s training,and new employees need
working space and computers.
On top of that,the professor
claims that four-day workweek would increase the employees` pressure.The
reading passage describes that this policy can shift the employees` workload to
others.But on the contrary,that professor states that the company would
increase the expectation,they would want employees finish the whole working
they did in five days in four day,it can increase the job difficulty and would
make people always over working.
Lastly,the professor rebuts
the reading`s point that this policy is good for individual employees,by
demonstrating that more free time would make people decrease the job stability.
The professor points out that the company would be willing to choose the person
who likes to work five days,and the four-day working employees would have
risks loosing job.
优质解答
首先要说你这作文已经找到4个得分点了.综合作文每个人都有自己的模板,所以无需对于文章结构修改.（我考了4次,除第一次裸考外,综合作文得了3次Good）
但是小的可以修改的地方还是有的,比如
首段其实可以不写双方那么细节的观点,“...four-day working is benefit to both companies and employees. However, the speaker disagree with this opinion." 就足以了,细节后面详述.
第二段,he professor argues that it would decrease.. 我个人建议把IT改成this plan/suggestion.
第三段,我不建议先写两种观点再分别详述,新东方史禺老师教过我说这样容易让考官难以分辨支撑细节.
还有一些单复数小错误,"they did in five days in four day"之类的无伤大雅,不会扣分.
首先要说你这作文已经找到4个得分点了.综合作文每个人都有自己的模板,所以无需对于文章结构修改.（我考了4次,除第一次裸考外,综合作文得了3次Good）
但是小的可以修改的地方还是有的,比如
首段其实可以不写双方那么细节的观点,“...four-day working is benefit to both companies and employees. However, the speaker disagree with this opinion." 就足以了,细节后面详述.
第二段,he professor argues that it would decrease.. 我个人建议把IT改成this plan/suggestion.
第三段,我不建议先写两种观点再分别详述,新东方史禺老师教过我说这样容易让考官难以分辨支撑细节.
还有一些单复数小错误,"they did in five days in four day"之类的无伤大雅,不会扣分.