优质解答
草草看了下
16-18
句型变化太少
从句过于复杂难懂
结构衔接不流畅(从来没说诚实好.)
结尾总结不够有力
.
总之很中国化,或.很模板化.
题中有2个关键词是"always"和"any",很多人都是从always下手带出any
个人建议着手点从题中的"any"下手,带出always
以第一段为例,可以试着改成:
Relationship is such a basic and important factor in this social world that without it, our life is empty, boring and lonely. Obviously, honesty is a significant element during developing and continuing a close rapport with others. However, in certain situation, always telling truth will be not necessary, even producing exactly the opposite results. To boil down, from my view point and position, critically there is no simple YES or NO answer to this topic that whether telling the truth always or not.
另外个人建议:
1.第1例子反过来写,就是子女有事想瞒着父母,你这么写太让父母伤心了.
2.模板可以用,但用的是模板的总分总结构,别通过换词来写文章.
3.别题目问啥你上来就说文章要解决啥问题,现说点外围现象情况引出题目更好
先说问题,然后有人.有人.,我认为.(不是模板么.?)
总的说写的还可以,但没有亮点.不是说语言乏味,而是没有自己的特色,放在一堆作文中找不出来的感觉,或者说.“很低调”,最多就是20分
草草看了下
16-18
句型变化太少
从句过于复杂难懂
结构衔接不流畅(从来没说诚实好.)
结尾总结不够有力
.
总之很中国化,或.很模板化.
题中有2个关键词是"always"和"any",很多人都是从always下手带出any
个人建议着手点从题中的"any"下手,带出always
以第一段为例,可以试着改成:
Relationship is such a basic and important factor in this social world that without it, our life is empty, boring and lonely. Obviously, honesty is a significant element during developing and continuing a close rapport with others. However, in certain situation, always telling truth will be not necessary, even producing exactly the opposite results. To boil down, from my view point and position, critically there is no simple YES or NO answer to this topic that whether telling the truth always or not.
另外个人建议:
1.第1例子反过来写,就是子女有事想瞒着父母,你这么写太让父母伤心了.
2.模板可以用,但用的是模板的总分总结构,别通过换词来写文章.
3.别题目问啥你上来就说文章要解决啥问题,现说点外围现象情况引出题目更好
先说问题,然后有人.有人.,我认为.(不是模板么.?)
总的说写的还可以,但没有亮点.不是说语言乏味,而是没有自己的特色,放在一堆作文中找不出来的感觉,或者说.“很低调”,最多就是20分