托福作文,小弟不才,28考试,In the modern society,an increasing number of people have realized that with the development of economy,the advertisement has become more and more extraordinary and attractive,and also make people confuse with the value of the products.Busi

2019-04-18

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托福作文,小弟不才,28考试,
In the modern society,an increasing number of people have realized that with the development of economy,the advertisement has become more and more extraordinary and attractive,and also make people confuse with the value of the products.
Businessmen have no choice but to make the advertisements better than the actually worth because as is known to all that the present market competition has been much fiercer and fiercer than before obviously.Not only can those noticeable pictures and languages on the billboard make the manufactures spread quickly in the society,but can also put the merchandises even the company's names into customers’ memories,which will bring a large number of profits for the traders.It is true that proper publication of the commodity is fine,however,the excessively bloat should be unacceptable for both dealers and customers.
There are various strategies for advertisers to overemphasize their commodities.For instance,in some television advertisement about the panther car,it wants to puff the car's wide and comfortable space which in fact is not capacious just normal size.So it will repeat the word about the largeness over and over in order for audience to remember its grandiloquent illusion.And also the advertisers can make use of the time,like introducing their products after a popular soap opera or animated cartoon which indicates a potential relationship between the advertisement and opera or cartoon.Of course,they are just tip of the iceberg.Despite these unfairly illustration about the commodities won't be accused by law,but in the long run,it will cause company to lose the confidence and reputation among the society.
In my opinion,in order to avoid that phenomenon,the traders should appropriately exaggerate its merits on the ground that they are honestly to tell their consumers advantages and disadvantages of the merchandises.After all,most of the customers are focus on the quality of the products.Thus the dealers can introduce the process of the producing,the experts of the company or the raw material of the products and so on.
All in all,the advertisers should try their best to provide the true information as much as possible with customers.
许多广告商过度的夸张了他们的产品

优质解答

本来我是拿word给你全改了一半遍的,花了我一个多小时.但悲剧的是没有保存.好吧,我没时间再给你改一遍了,因为我22号也要考.
只好简略说一下这篇文章.
第一,你还是在尝试用一些高级的词汇、短语和句式,但需要注意其正确的用法以及它是不适合用在此处.（比如grandiloquent这个词,你只是用字典查了它的意思,却没有掌握它应该在什么样的情况下使用.有时背单词会背到很多同义词,表面上看起来没有什么差别,实际上是词汇书在误导我们.）换句话说,这些东西本来是你用来加分的,但如果你用错用的不恰当反而减分就得不偿失了.所以我建议你多看看185题库的范文,看看人家是怎么组织语言和运用词汇的.
第二,你有意识地想去替换单词,比如货物,你用了至少三个同义替换,这是值得发扬的.但是太平凡的替换显得有些做作了.名词类的同义词其实不一定非得随时替换,但是形容词一定要多样化.（但还是要注意是否恰当）
第三,你文章缺乏逻辑和结构.虽然说上述的词汇、语法都很重要,但写作文最注重的还是内容.整篇文章你写得很随意,想到什么就写什么,事先没有任何的规划.这样会让考官觉得看你的文章摸不着头脑.托福文章都是议论文,结构大致是四段或五段式,即开头,body段1,body段2,body段3,结尾.body段落一定要注意运用论证手法,如举例、对比、因为、假设等等.而且,务必要在body段段首阐述你的中心论点,即topic sentence.
最后,我建议你考试之前多看一下范文,多写几篇找找感觉.作文是托福比较好拿分的一部分,希望你能够取得一个满意的成绩. 本来我是拿word给你全改了一半遍的,花了我一个多小时.但悲剧的是没有保存.好吧,我没时间再给你改一遍了,因为我22号也要考.
只好简略说一下这篇文章.
第一,你还是在尝试用一些高级的词汇、短语和句式,但需要注意其正确的用法以及它是不适合用在此处.（比如grandiloquent这个词,你只是用字典查了它的意思,却没有掌握它应该在什么样的情况下使用.有时背单词会背到很多同义词,表面上看起来没有什么差别,实际上是词汇书在误导我们.）换句话说,这些东西本来是你用来加分的,但如果你用错用的不恰当反而减分就得不偿失了.所以我建议你多看看185题库的范文,看看人家是怎么组织语言和运用词汇的.
第二,你有意识地想去替换单词,比如货物,你用了至少三个同义替换,这是值得发扬的.但是太平凡的替换显得有些做作了.名词类的同义词其实不一定非得随时替换,但是形容词一定要多样化.（但还是要注意是否恰当）
第三,你文章缺乏逻辑和结构.虽然说上述的词汇、语法都很重要,但写作文最注重的还是内容.整篇文章你写得很随意,想到什么就写什么,事先没有任何的规划.这样会让考官觉得看你的文章摸不着头脑.托福文章都是议论文,结构大致是四段或五段式,即开头,body段1,body段2,body段3,结尾.body段落一定要注意运用论证手法,如举例、对比、因为、假设等等.而且,务必要在body段段首阐述你的中心论点,即topic sentence.
最后,我建议你考试之前多看一下范文,多写几篇找找感觉.作文是托福比较好拿分的一部分,希望你能够取得一个满意的成绩.