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托福作文,各位大神有能力的请帮小弟看一看如何~1. The advantage and disadvantage of a new factory near your community I live in an area where is not very prosperous, most of the people have to go quite a long way everyday as their working position isn’t nearby. These parents kee

2019-04-18

托福作文,各位大神有能力的请帮小弟看一看如何~
1. The advantage and disadvantage of a new factory near your community
I live in an area where is not very prosperous, most of the people have to go quite a long way everyday as their working position isn’t nearby. These parents keep children home and always have few time to accompany with them, which could result in children lack of some key attributes, heavy burden on grandparents. A new factory, obviously, could effectively solve the problem in a certain degree. People may consider to work in the factory, thus, the regular monthly salaries and short distance mean that the people can acquire more free time to be with their families.
An new factory can also attract more investments,which can actually bring the area prosperity. For example, if the factory produces the merchandises such as clothes, shoes, food, even luxury, more shops and markets will be established here. Gradually, the area could be more rich and prosperous, meanwhile, the residents’ life can be better.
There would be certainly negative effects as well. If the area become prosperous, immigrants from other regions will come here looking for jobs. Because of some factors such as relative poverty and unfamiliar interpersonal relationship,they may work harder for less money than the locals, which is not a nice information for my area and local workers. Moreover, the more immigrants here are, the less available jobs will be. We can speculate that a rising crime rate may be resulted from unemployment crisis, which is an potential negative effect.
On the other hand, the proposed factory would almost certainly have adverse effects on the local environment,particularly the water pollution.This is quite an important problem that can not be too seriously, because without clean water the region cannot sustain life of any kind.
In a conclusion, however, due to the economic situation of my hometown, I believe the potential benefits of opening a new factory would outweigh the risks. So if we take the precautions, such as imposing strict environmental standard and providing adequate social services for immigrants, the whole area can achieve benefits.
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第一句run-on sentence,woking ponsition 建议working places ,isn't 改负数。these parents指代不清。。。语法错的有点多。。。第一段太过冗长 用词要注意恰当而不是选用高大上的词 托福考的是你能不能融入美国校园生活 用词及句型注意恰当 骚年加油 第一句run-on sentence,woking ponsition 建议working places ,isn't 改负数。these parents指代不清。。。语法错的有点多。。。第一段太过冗长 用词要注意恰当而不是选用高大上的词 托福考的是你能不能融入美国校园生活 用词及句型注意恰当 骚年加油
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