（原文） The recent years have seen the profound of teenagers’mind .some them have found a job while they are still a student .I deem that this is a excellent idea .Because working advanced is very necessary for the teens’ future .
（新文）In recent years,there seems to be a trend for teenagers to get a job while study in school.It is an excellent idea to not only learn from the text book but also getting real world experience and earn some money.
（原文）When teens get a job ,they will be more care about their parent .they will know that how difficult to get such amount of sarlary and how hard you parents work so that realized that waste too much from their parent is wrong .I have a job when I am a student during the high school life too .Before I gotthe part-time job ,I ask a large nunber of money from my parent and waste whatever I want .After I got a job ,I realized getting the money is not easy as I think it .From then ,I no long asked money from my parents .
（新文）Working in the real world,sooner or later they will start to realize how difficult to make a living.Hopefully,that will help them to learn the value of money and how to be thrifty.For example,when I started to work,it helped me to understand making money is not that easy and I gradually learn to appreciate what my parents do for me.
（原文）Getting a job when you still a student is not only help you how hard your parents work in the daily but also can connect the society and understand how the society is now .
（新文）Getting a job while in school not only helps to understand what it takes for parents to make a living but also gives you a reality check to see what's the outside world is like.
（原文）If you don’t get a job when you are studying ,you will be far away from the society and know nothing even though you graduate from a excellent school because you haven’t try anything except studying.A real example is that ,a friend of mine ,who studying very well in the school ,doesn’t join any commity activities or gain a part-time job during his studying time .after he graduated and begined to find a job but he can because he didn’t have any connection with others when he was a student .
（新文）If you didn't work during school years,you may be letting the opportunities to slip away and disconnected from the real world despite earning a diploma from a top school.I have a friend who was academically excellent but he didn't participate any community services nor held any jobs while study.He is now having trouble to land a job due to lack of any practical experience.
（原文）Getting a job when you are students has its own benefits ,such as more cnocern their parents ,connecting the society ,knowing to control your cost and so on .I don't deny that if you don’t get a job when you are a student ,you will be a failure .
In short ,I deem that it is better for the teenagers to get a job while they still a student .
（新文）Having a job when you are a student gives you some advantages,such as extra allowance,learn the value of money,learn how to do budget planning and more.I am not saying that you are going to be a total failure if you don't work when you are in school but overall it's going to help you to grow and get more mature if you get a job! （原文） The recent years have seen the profound of teenagers’mind .some them have found a job while they are still a student .I deem that this is a excellent idea .Because working advanced is very necessary for the teens’ future .
（新文）In recent years,there seems to be a trend for teenagers to get a job while study in school.It is an excellent idea to not only learn from the text book but also getting real world experience and earn some money.
（原文）When teens get a job ,they will be more care about their parent .they will know that how difficult to get such amount of sarlary and how hard you parents work so that realized that waste too much from their parent is wrong .I have a job when I am a student during the high school life too .Before I gotthe part-time job ,I ask a large nunber of money from my parent and waste whatever I want .After I got a job ,I realized getting the money is not easy as I think it .From then ,I no long asked money from my parents .
（新文）Working in the real world,sooner or later they will start to realize how difficult to make a living.Hopefully,that will help them to learn the value of money and how to be thrifty.For example,when I started to work,it helped me to understand making money is not that easy and I gradually learn to appreciate what my parents do for me.
（原文）Getting a job when you still a student is not only help you how hard your parents work in the daily but also can connect the society and understand how the society is now .
（新文）Getting a job while in school not only helps to understand what it takes for parents to make a living but also gives you a reality check to see what's the outside world is like.
（原文）If you don’t get a job when you are studying ,you will be far away from the society and know nothing even though you graduate from a excellent school because you haven’t try anything except studying.A real example is that ,a friend of mine ,who studying very well in the school ,doesn’t join any commity activities or gain a part-time job during his studying time .after he graduated and begined to find a job but he can because he didn’t have any connection with others when he was a student .
（新文）If you didn't work during school years,you may be letting the opportunities to slip away and disconnected from the real world despite earning a diploma from a top school.I have a friend who was academically excellent but he didn't participate any community services nor held any jobs while study.He is now having trouble to land a job due to lack of any practical experience.
（原文）Getting a job when you are students has its own benefits ,such as more cnocern their parents ,connecting the society ,knowing to control your cost and so on .I don't deny that if you don’t get a job when you are a student ,you will be a failure .
In short ,I deem that it is better for the teenagers to get a job while they still a student .
（新文）Having a job when you are a student gives you some advantages,such as extra allowance,learn the value of money,learn how to do budget planning and more.I am not saying that you are going to be a total failure if you don't work when you are in school but overall it's going to help you to grow and get more mature if you get a job!