您好,我大体修改了一下你的作文,有一些具体的语法问题和句子表达问题没有给你改,因为这是很难在短时间提高的.我T的大作文是Good,这里给你一点经验.不要照着xdf的思路去写作文,因为那样会太套路,比如每段第一句是主旨句 然后举例子啥的.你可以看一下OG里面给出的两片满分作文,都不是这么构思的.另外你要注意og里面的范文都是把题目的各个方面都点到了,论述详细,但是examples并不是写的很多,很多是一句话带过了,更多的是抽象的论述.把握这几点,托福作文也就没有什么太担心的.
我觉得你的作文应该在3.5-4分左右的样子.主要缺点是是论述不够详细,比如说书本里面的只是和实践中的如何不同,为什么实践中的更容易记住和掌握等等；语言我觉得有的时候你真的太过刻意用高级句式和词汇了,真正好的句子并不是特别复杂的,而是准确的而且让人看懂的.很多地方你用了很多倒装句我觉得并不是很有必要,让人读起来感觉怪怪的.
作文还有小作文的部分,我觉得小作文是更好拿分的,因为有一些套路.小作文其实基本不用写阅读部分里面的内容,要把主力放到听力段子中,og上的范文你可以看一看.希望对你有帮助!
修改部分如下：（括号里是修改的）
We live in a world where almost all the knowledge can be obtained from books. (应为句号,therefore 是副词,不能引导两个句子)Therefore a large amount of people believe that knowledge contained in(from) books are(is) the most crucial. However, is it a wise idea? Is that mean(Does it mean that) we can ignore the knowledge gained from experience? Of course not.
No doubt that it is books that have a huge number of knowledge about various aspects, such as history, science, decoration, even cosmetology.（No doubt that books contain knowledge on all aspects, e.g. history, science, decoration, even cosmetology.） It seems that everyone can(will) benefit by kinds of specialized books. Only a book, can provide students like me methods of solutions to some math problems, can tell housewives how to prepare a delicious meal, can teach the peasantry skills of cultivation. Besides, it is quite convenient to get a book nowadays(it is quite easy to get a book you needed with the help of modern information system). Whether we borrow a book from near library or buy one from a bookshop, we can always find what we need. And with the development of printing, printed matters became cheaper so that everybody can afford them.
On the other hand, knowledge acquired from experience also plays a imperative role (and knowledge gain from this way can never be replaced by that from books). Such kind of knowledge can be absorbed better and understood deeply(easier 保持句子的对称) by people. Take me myself as an example, when I learned a new experiment of physics, not until I made it by myself can I comprehend it. In high schools of our country, what we lack of is this efficient way to gain knowledge through experience. What we always do is to read lots of thick books of every subject, which often makes study a tedious thing. Maybe one will argue that the knowledge acquired from experience is not so precise so that it will mislead us to a diverse direction. We cannot deny it, but is that knowledge included in books usually definite? In our modern society, producers of books surely know that people never suspect the knowledge from a book at all, so they increasely print their products to get a profit without considering the qualities of them. Then experts could search out a number of mistakes in those so-called specialized books. Consequently, we should have a sense of judgment rather than depend on books blindly.
In a word, these two type of knowledge both have their advantages and disadvantages, so we ought not to actually say (that)which one is more important (than another). In my opinion, the most essential thing is (to make full use of knowledge gained from books and experience and combine them efficiently )how to make full use of the value of the two sources and combine them efficiently. 您好,我大体修改了一下你的作文,有一些具体的语法问题和句子表达问题没有给你改,因为这是很难在短时间提高的.我T的大作文是Good,这里给你一点经验.不要照着xdf的思路去写作文,因为那样会太套路,比如每段第一句是主旨句 然后举例子啥的.你可以看一下OG里面给出的两片满分作文,都不是这么构思的.另外你要注意og里面的范文都是把题目的各个方面都点到了,论述详细,但是examples并不是写的很多,很多是一句话带过了,更多的是抽象的论述.把握这几点,托福作文也就没有什么太担心的.
我觉得你的作文应该在3.5-4分左右的样子.主要缺点是是论述不够详细,比如说书本里面的只是和实践中的如何不同,为什么实践中的更容易记住和掌握等等；语言我觉得有的时候你真的太过刻意用高级句式和词汇了,真正好的句子并不是特别复杂的,而是准确的而且让人看懂的.很多地方你用了很多倒装句我觉得并不是很有必要,让人读起来感觉怪怪的.
作文还有小作文的部分,我觉得小作文是更好拿分的,因为有一些套路.小作文其实基本不用写阅读部分里面的内容,要把主力放到听力段子中,og上的范文你可以看一看.希望对你有帮助!
修改部分如下：（括号里是修改的）
We live in a world where almost all the knowledge can be obtained from books. (应为句号,therefore 是副词,不能引导两个句子)Therefore a large amount of people believe that knowledge contained in(from) books are(is) the most crucial. However, is it a wise idea? Is that mean(Does it mean that) we can ignore the knowledge gained from experience? Of course not.
No doubt that it is books that have a huge number of knowledge about various aspects, such as history, science, decoration, even cosmetology.（No doubt that books contain knowledge on all aspects, e.g. history, science, decoration, even cosmetology.） It seems that everyone can(will) benefit by kinds of specialized books. Only a book, can provide students like me methods of solutions to some math problems, can tell housewives how to prepare a delicious meal, can teach the peasantry skills of cultivation. Besides, it is quite convenient to get a book nowadays(it is quite easy to get a book you needed with the help of modern information system). Whether we borrow a book from near library or buy one from a bookshop, we can always find what we need. And with the development of printing, printed matters became cheaper so that everybody can afford them.
On the other hand, knowledge acquired from experience also plays a imperative role (and knowledge gain from this way can never be replaced by that from books). Such kind of knowledge can be absorbed better and understood deeply(easier 保持句子的对称) by people. Take me myself as an example, when I learned a new experiment of physics, not until I made it by myself can I comprehend it. In high schools of our country, what we lack of is this efficient way to gain knowledge through experience. What we always do is to read lots of thick books of every subject, which often makes study a tedious thing. Maybe one will argue that the knowledge acquired from experience is not so precise so that it will mislead us to a diverse direction. We cannot deny it, but is that knowledge included in books usually definite? In our modern society, producers of books surely know that people never suspect the knowledge from a book at all, so they increasely print their products to get a profit without considering the qualities of them. Then experts could search out a number of mistakes in those so-called specialized books. Consequently, we should have a sense of judgment rather than depend on books blindly.
In a word, these two type of knowledge both have their advantages and disadvantages, so we ought not to actually say (that)which one is more important (than another). In my opinion, the most essential thing is (to make full use of knowledge gained from books and experience and combine them efficiently )how to make full use of the value of the two sources and combine them efficiently.