请英语高手帮我点评我的这篇英语四级作文,1：中国城乡之间的差距似乎有增大的趋势2：导致这种现象的原因3：怎样才能缩小城乡之间的差距Bridging the Gap between the Urban and Rural AreasWith the development of economy,the gap betwwen the urban and rural areas seems increased.The urban areas developing better and better,the r
2019-06-19
请英语高手帮我点评我的这篇英语四级作文,
1：中国城乡之间的差距似乎有增大的趋势
2：导致这种现象的原因
3：怎样才能缩小城乡之间的差距
Bridging the Gap between the Urban and Rural Areas
With the development of economy,the gap betwwen the urban and rural areas seems increased.The urban areas developing better and better,the rural areas geting and geting worse and worse.
I think there are two reasons lead to this gap.For one thing,the cultural and educational work is not develop well,so many rural people have not a good educational level to help their hometown to develop.For another thing,many rural younger goes to the urban areas are develop well and there are not many talented staying in rural areas.
We should take some mesures to bridge the gap between the urban and rural areas.Firstly,the rural governments should devote major efforts to educational work.Secondly,the country governments should offer a large number of money to help those rural areas to develop.Lastly,the rural people should stay in their hometown to help their hometown to develop.
优质解答
值得肯定的是,没有错误的单词,但是病句很多,即句子结构错误严重.
1.With the development of economy,the gap betwwen the urban and rural areas seems increased(前面那个动名词根本就缺少句子成分)
2.The urban areas [are] developing better and better,the rural areas geting and geting worse and worse.the rural areas are geting worse and worse.
3.is not developing very well
4.so many rural people dont have a good
5.many rural youngers go to the urban areas and there are not many talented ones staying in rural areas.
还有一些句子冗余,还有一些地方需要桥接下,修改成这样会好很多:
1.better and better,on the controry,the rural areas ...
2.I think改为in my opinion
3.We should take 改为it should be taken ...,后面再添加一句,so what could we do on earth?
4.Lastly改为 the last one but not at least(最后但不是最重要的一个)
5.最后再添加一句:all in all ,with the efforts of all of people,the gap between the urban and rural areas will be smaller,and disappear finally.
值得肯定的是,没有错误的单词,但是病句很多,即句子结构错误严重.
1.With the development of economy,the gap betwwen the urban and rural areas seems increased(前面那个动名词根本就缺少句子成分)
2.The urban areas [are] developing better and better,the rural areas geting and geting worse and worse.the rural areas are geting worse and worse.
3.is not developing very well
4.so many rural people dont have a good
5.many rural youngers go to the urban areas and there are not many talented ones staying in rural areas.
还有一些句子冗余,还有一些地方需要桥接下,修改成这样会好很多:
1.better and better,on the controry,the rural areas ...
2.I think改为in my opinion
3.We should take 改为it should be taken ...,后面再添加一句,so what could we do on earth?
4.Lastly改为 the last one but not at least(最后但不是最重要的一个)
5.最后再添加一句:all in all ,with the efforts of all of people,the gap between the urban and rural areas will be smaller,and disappear finally.