SAT作文评分问题!我真的很迷茫!我一直自我感觉英语不错,可准备了一段时间SAT作文后,今天把第一篇作文发到国外的一个网站上,大家只给我2/12,有呢么差么?我整整写了2面纸啊,而且开头结尾也有扣题,没怎么跑题啊~可2分到底是什么层次?不是说只要写满1面办就有8分吗?我快急死了,还有一个月就考试呢,自己目标还呢么高TAT下面是我在作文,希望有经验的人帮帮我!I really need help!跪谢!topic：Does a strong commitment to technology progress
2019-05-23
SAT作文评分问题!我真的很迷茫!
我一直自我感觉英语不错,可准备了一段时间SAT作文后,今天把第一篇作文发到国外的一个网站上,大家只给我2/12,有呢么差么?我整整写了2面纸啊,而且开头结尾也有扣题,没怎么跑题啊~可2分到底是什么层次?不是说只要写满1面办就有8分吗?我快急死了,还有一个月就考试呢,自己目标还呢么高TAT
下面是我在作文,希望有经验的人帮帮我!I really need help!跪谢!
topic：Does a strong commitment to technology progress cause a society to neglect other values,such as education and the protection of the environment?
My essay:
In today’s world,the more and more developed technology surly gives us lots of achievements and other benefits,but there are other commensurately urgent problems such as environment pollution and the overuse of technology.As individuals in this society,we must take on our responsibilities to solve these matters.
In the movie An Inconvenient Truth directed by David Guggenheim is a great film to educate people to protect the environment.The movie indicates that if we don’t take measures to protect the environment,the global-warming problem will become worse and worse,and our planet will become a frying-pan.‘people devastate the environment recklessly,’ David says,’ he reason why I wanted to make this film is to let more citizens know the essence of this problem and o something useful to rescue our endangered earth,such as do not drive the cars which need gasoline,instead,buy the electric cars.In the movie,I showed people the situation of our today’s planet.The polar bears are being killed,the ice-cap are melting,and the temperature is getting higher and higher.I suggest that within one hundred years,some places that have low altitudes will forever submerge in the ocean.Hope more people will realize this sort of problems.’
Just like David said,there are many benefits of the development of technology,but we can’t avoid the serious emergencies lying ahead of us.They are potential dangers to us even our descendants.
Here is another example which all of us should think deeply for it,.Recently a group of teenagers attended the MUN and made a wonderful speech for all the people around the earth.A thirteen year-old girl said eagerly,’ Coming here today,I have no hidden agenda.I am fighting for my future.I am here to speak for the countless animals dying across this planet because they have nowhere to go.We can not afford to be not heard.I am afraid to go out in the sun now because of the holes in the ozone.I am afraid to breathe the air because I don’t know what chemicals are in it.Did you have to worry about these little things when you were my age?you do not know how to fix the holes in our ozone layer.You don not know how to bring back an animal now extinct.If you do not know how to fix it,please stop breaking it!
The two examples show you the problems we face with the development of technology.And if you are a beneficiary of the inventions we use today,please pay attention to the another side of it.
优质解答
其实lz没有正确的分析这个问题的实质,问题中强调的是在大力发展科技的同时是否必然导致社会忽略其他方面的价值.lz在文章中只是列举了各个方面存在的问题并给予呼吁,但并没有体现出题目要求的逻辑关系.论述过程内在的coherence没有很好的体现,整个文章可以说有一些digression,给了两分虽然有点低,不过还是有一定道理的
其实lz没有正确的分析这个问题的实质,问题中强调的是在大力发展科技的同时是否必然导致社会忽略其他方面的价值.lz在文章中只是列举了各个方面存在的问题并给予呼吁,但并没有体现出题目要求的逻辑关系.论述过程内在的coherence没有很好的体现,整个文章可以说有一些digression,给了两分虽然有点低,不过还是有一定道理的