sat作文修改What are your thoughts on the idea that failure is necessary for education to take place?Why we should receive education?Because we should gain knowledge,learn to be a better person and lead a better life afterwards.It may probably be the general r

2019-05-23

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sat作文修改
What are your thoughts on the idea that failure is necessary for education to take place?
Why we should receive education?Because we should gain knowledge,learn to be a better person and lead a better life afterwards.It may probably be the general recognition to the question; however,not so many people realize why we should learn.The novelist John Hersey wrote,“Learning starts with failure; the first failure is the beginning of education.” I also agree with his point of view.I think failure is an indispensable part of education.
Failure is why we start to learn and failure is everywhere while we are learning.When we were young,we often see other people ride bicycles so lightheartedly and that is where we have the idea to get on bicycles and emulate other’s movement.However,few people know how to ride bicycle at the first time see it,so the first time we have such a possibility to fell down from the bicycles and that is where we have to learn.During the learning process,we might fell down from the bicycle a lot of times,we might get frustrated by the continuous failures,and we might even have the idea to give up.However,from another point of view,we can consider every fell as a small step towards success,we get experience from each failure,like if we fell to the left side,the next time we have the intention to keep our gravity slightly over the right side,after times of trying,we eventually can keep riding without fell.Everyone wants success,nobody really likes failure,but how can we have rainbow without a little rain,without failure while we learn how can we truly enjoy the sweet when we reach the success.
During the learning process,failure is how things get improved.With the development of technology,computers have become an important part of most people’s daily life.While we are using computers,we can not watch videos,typing letters without software.At the same time,the same software often have many different versions,and the newest is often the best,the reason why so many versions come out is because the previous version fail to deal with certain situations or have some problems that has not been concerned before,with this failure,the software get better and better,to be satisfied by the users.And that is how the software companies learn,failure help them to get self-improved.Education is just like a jade without polish,failure can help us find the flaw,and with our cognition and effort,we can make the jade become more and more perfect.
Failure is an indispensable part of education,without failure we can hardly do things proficiently and effectively.Failure help us recognize ourselves,help us to realize what we should learn and learning is like a steep mountain,once we decide to climb it; we have to encounter tons of difficulties,lots of failures,but behind that most glorious view is waiting for you.

优质解答

楼主：其实你这篇文章得12分是没问题的,开头有名人的Quote,中间2个详细的例子,最后一个有寓意的结尾.我唯一的几个建议是：Thesis最好再详细点.你的Thesis看得出是第一段最后一句：I think failure is an indispensable part of education.只是有点短,一般Thesis都是一句比较长的句子.你可以写：I think failure is an indispensable part of education,because failure helps us realize what we should learn.这样你的Thesis更详细明了并且有你自己的观点,不然你就等于是告诉别人yes/no,而不给别人原因了.
楼主的2个例子都很全面,只是.有点过于详述.与其给2个过于详述的例子,不如给3个完整的例子,这是SAT作文一大窍门.因为3个例子里就算其中一个比较weak,其他2个是好例子的话考官也不会找茬.而且3个例子的话你就多一个段落,这样更容易得高分（很多教科书都说SAT作文4段5段都可以,但是5段确实更容易得高分）
有个小的疑问.楼主这篇字数总共500,还几乎没有语法错误,楼主真的是在25分钟的时间限制内写的么?我以前学SAT作文的时候刚开始不给自己时间限制,写得老师都说好,后来老师一次监视我25分钟内写就杯具了.之后我每次坚决只给自己25分钟写,终于才SAT作文拿到12,看下面那个链接：
我字数没楼主多,语法错误也挺多,但是我拿12 绝对靠的是我3个例子和一个明朗的Thesis（最后一个例子很简述,但是批改的考官却不介意）.所以即使我觉得楼主的文章拿12没问题,我的几个建议还是希望楼主考虑下. 楼主：其实你这篇文章得12分是没问题的,开头有名人的Quote,中间2个详细的例子,最后一个有寓意的结尾.我唯一的几个建议是：Thesis最好再详细点.你的Thesis看得出是第一段最后一句：I think failure is an indispensable part of education.只是有点短,一般Thesis都是一句比较长的句子.你可以写：I think failure is an indispensable part of education,because failure helps us realize what we should learn.这样你的Thesis更详细明了并且有你自己的观点,不然你就等于是告诉别人yes/no,而不给别人原因了.
楼主的2个例子都很全面,只是.有点过于详述.与其给2个过于详述的例子,不如给3个完整的例子,这是SAT作文一大窍门.因为3个例子里就算其中一个比较weak,其他2个是好例子的话考官也不会找茬.而且3个例子的话你就多一个段落,这样更容易得高分（很多教科书都说SAT作文4段5段都可以,但是5段确实更容易得高分）
有个小的疑问.楼主这篇字数总共500,还几乎没有语法错误,楼主真的是在25分钟的时间限制内写的么?我以前学SAT作文的时候刚开始不给自己时间限制,写得老师都说好,后来老师一次监视我25分钟内写就杯具了.之后我每次坚决只给自己25分钟写,终于才SAT作文拿到12,看下面那个链接：
我字数没楼主多,语法错误也挺多,但是我拿12 绝对靠的是我3个例子和一个明朗的Thesis（最后一个例子很简述,但是批改的考官却不介意）.所以即使我觉得楼主的文章拿12没问题,我的几个建议还是希望楼主考虑下.